Yoinks!
So we get married in 6 days.
I honestly didn’t know what I expected to feel 6 days before I got married, but here’s a synopsis:
- intermittently panicky (that I’ve forgotten a detail, even though we are innately low-key)
- in love
- overtired
- mildly nervous about all the family intros
- slightly undergroomed (save for having an actual groom)
- thankful
- did I mention overtired?
I’ve got almost everything set up to happen exactly as it should — the clothes, the ceremony, the food… you name it. And being Wedding #1, it’s just LITTLE. It’s not some big thing with escort cards and 14 showers and a processional to plan and an argument about whether or not to use orchids or freesia (neither.)
Truth be told, I get in a tizzy thinking of how to make everyone comfortable, how to make everyone happy, and how to ensure that everyone has a good time… not just for the day, but for the week.
People will say, “It’s YOUR day, worry about YOU…” but it’s not a matter of it being my day (or worrying, for that matter.) It’s a matter of conveying to the people that we love that the only reason any of this works is because they’re there. Neither of us could be a good wife or a good husband unless we knew good wives and good husbands, and we had their connections to model.
And to the boys, we want to convey that I am so lucky to be joining their “guys only” family. They’ve accepted me from the very beginning in a very uncomplicated way. As long as I can take running narration of video games… as long as I like to laugh… as long as I remember who likes what and who doesn’t when it comes to cooking… I’m golden. I know that’s not the typical stepparent experience either.
I’d say that’s worth giving them a really good dinner, both the parents and the kids.
Which I think we will.
But I will relax a little more come Sunday, when I’m Mrs. Tripp (and finally have the name I’ve been living out in real time with various sprains, stitches, and calamities since I was a kid — and don’t think my friends haven’t mentioned that a hundred times by now….)
I am going to put so much friggin’ garlic in everything now that no one else would dare marry either of us!
A tale of two weddings.
After we did the whole “getting engaged” thing, we went a little underground on our plans, for reasons both good AND stressful.
Good, because we wanted to figure out the right thing to do. Stressful, because work went nuts shortly thereafter for both of us, and then we moved, and then… well… lazy might be responsible for the rest. Or I’m spending too much time obsessively and joyously doing laundry in our new place.
The complicating factors of our wedding include the fact that my entire family is on the West Coast (save for one tiny outpost waaaaay up north), along with a good portion of my closest friends. They also include the fact that Boston is an expensive place to fly and stay — sure, we’re no NYC or London, but we’re not exactly rolling cheap for options that don’t include bed bugs as a surprise bonus.
This means that anyone who wants to attend my wedding from across the continent has to give up saving for their child’s college fund, or cut out lattes until 2024.
We also have a little thing to deal with that begins with an “i” and ends with “mmigration”. Enough said. Really. That’s high on the list of “things one doesn’t discuss online.”
And finally, this wedding involves a certain now-13-year-old who we don’t want to be completely overwhelmed by the whole thing — and he hasn’t even met anyone in my family besides, well, me. His comfort is high on our list of factors in planning a celebration.
All that said, here’s what we’ve decided:
We’re going to get married twice!
Well, just once, technically, but we’re going to celebrate twice.
Wedding #1 October 22nd, 2011
Attendees: Just our parents, a couple aunts and uncles here and there, a sibling here and there, and the boys (E & his brother, D, Gradon’s stepson, who plans to call me his “stairmom”, since he already has a stepmom. Brady Bunch has NOTHING on us) 20 at the MOST.
Why so small: We want our families to have time to get to know one another, and we want to make it less of a WHOA! for the boys.
Why so soon: The “i” word.
Wedding/Party #2 TBA — mid-to-late Mayish.
Attendees: Same crop of family, plus dear friends from both coasts — whoever can make it. The numbers will be higher, but not absurd. Somewhere on the Cape, or close to there. Still in decision mode.
Um, you’re already married: Yes! But here’s where I wear a pretty white dress and all that typical-but-YAY stuff, and we’ll celebrate with family AND the “family you choose.” We’ll have a moment with some readings, some happy words, and a bit of music, just to make it more solemn. Then we’ll just enjoy being together.
My vision is a garden party / BBQ where we eat and dance into the late evening under sparkly lights and lanterns. No tuxes or ballgowns necessary, though we expect you to get your cute on.
So that’s it.
We’ve done things differently from the start, so we figured we’d keep it crazy for another few months.
Newly engaged.
Sandy Neck Beach, Barnstable, MA.
Two crazy kids fell in love across a continent and a border in '08, and managed to end up in the same city in '10. In '11 and '12, they'll get married. Wait, what? Subscribe via RSS.
